Wasted early Friday Evening

I wanted to do a big long post about my buddy Steve, but it would appear that my fingers are failing me. He is moving to Budapest. We do not hang out much, but when we do, it is grand.

Such as last night. Bar on College. We were loud. I was loud. But so was the music. I fear I may have rocked out to Metallica. L. is wonderful. The most wonderful wonderful that ever wonderfulled.

His people are good people. I must go now, and burn him a DVD of Firefly.

Perhaps I will re-write this later in an attempt to better hone my drunk stories. This fragment shit sucks.

Resisting

the urge to let this journal become a fight log. Instead, I'm going to start the resolution list and see how we go from there.

1 - stop punching my walls. Anger can be dealt with otherwise.

2 - swallow my fucking pride and give him everything he wants. He deserves everything I can give him, whereas I don't deserve anything I could take.

3 - chill the fuck out. Relax. Take a nap. Take some sedatives.

4 - stop with the booze.

5 - get some goddamn work done, you lazy bitch! I mean it, or I will kick your ass! Don't fight with me you paranoid schizophrenic!

&c.

Blah, blah, blah

My mom is absolutely adorable.

She's met a boy. He lives in Hawaii. She's going to Hawaii for a week. She's super excited, and I am for her too. But she just won't shut up about it. How to tell her that I don't want to hear about her copulating with a guy she met on the inernet?

Sorry, mom, I'm feeling sick, gotta run, muwahmuwahMUWAH!

So I'm a bad person.

I had a headache

Now I am floating. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. Morning cocktail made of down-home pharmaceuticals. You know, the ones mom used to take.

I also just decided something. I am going to give in. I have been forcing myself up hill to gain this weight; I deserve a break. Fuck food for today. I just got two holes punched in my wall, not by me, and I say "control issues this."

Needless to say, I am not entirely sure how this day will turn out. I have no cigarettes, no money to buy them and a whole slew of client calls to make.

Tonight, I am going to go home. Lock my door for the first time. And crank the fucking tunes till I can't crank 'em no more. Maybe I'll get some of that writing done. And maybe I'll feel better.

Even better, maybe I'll get some sleep. God, I miss sleep.

Prophecy

When the Moon is followed by Venus,
And gazing upon them, Jupiter is at your back;
A day when cabbies drive SMART will come,
And plague born of love will swell from the North.

I've been having some fucked up dreams, lemme tell you.

I weigh 127lbs.

I am happy, aside from the fact that I am at work.